EVERYONE HAS A STORY

My 20’s were marked by joy and celebration. I married my college sweetheart, delivered two healthy baby boys and owned the cutest bungalow in a charming old neighborhood. My 30’s would bring moves, infertility, brokenness and ultimately beauty from ashes.

Choosing adoption.

We were first exposed to adoption when we were dating through families in our church. It was something we loved as a tangible reflection of the Gospel, and considered as a future possibility. When I was unable to get pregnant again after several unsuccessful years for unknown reasons we found ourselves at a crossroads. Both exploring infertility and pursuing adoption are costly and emotionally expensive. I remember feeling the need to commit to only one and Patrick and I agreed it was our time to pursue adoption.

The broken road.

Unfortunately for many the road leading to adoption is fraught with loss and sorrow. Our loss and sorrow would come as we walked down the broken road that would finally lead us to our third son. We decided to adopt domestically after months of research, conversations, and prayer. Our convictions were to love, support, and bear a small bit of the burden for a woman here who bravely chose life for her unborn child.

And so, with conviction and excitement we began our home study in early 2013 and officially became a waiting family with our small, local agency. On a sunny, unseasonably warm fall day in November 2013 I stood in the kitchen and heard the news we’d been hoping for; we were chosen by an expectant mom due in February. We met her, and quickly began preparations to welcome our baby home. We loved her immediately and this unborn baby who we hoped we’d get to call “ours”. When her life changed unexpectedly just before the baby was born, she called off the adoption and we were left reeling. Going into a match you know there’s an element of risk. The expectant mom almost always has the best intentions but is able to choose to parent at any time. And we agreed early on that we would celebrate for her if parenting successfully became a viable option.

Love is worth the risk.

So we moved forward with our small agency choosing love, courage and clinging to hope. It was a quiet year. I’d been praying, journaling, preparing my heart for never being chosen and finding joy and contentment in our precious family of four. Our social worker called early on a Sunday morning while we were on vacation in August 2014. We’d been chosen by an expectant mom from our town, due in December just before Christmas. It was early and my heart felt joy but heavily guarded versus unbridled like our first match. But love is worth the risk, and so we moved forward. We were able to walk with this precious expectant mom, building a friendship over Mexican food and trust standing side-by-side at doctors appointments and ultrasounds. Together we talked about hospital plans, future plans and the baby’s name. I felt pregnant with hope and expectation. Our bags for the hospital and baby were packed when the call from our social worker came. Only instead of just telling me, “he’s here!”, she added, “and she has chosen to parent.”

Our son.

The days that followed were dark. We’d lost so much money and so much hope. We sought counsel from our trusted pastor. Our family and friends rallied around us like a sturdy net to not only catch us but to hold us up. We grieved, doubted, cried, prayed, and finally persevered. We began working with Christian Adoption Consultants in February 2015. I felt like a balloon the day after the party, deflated but still waving, holding on to a thread of hope. On a hot July day while we were at the neighborhood pool the call came. And this time it was to say, “he’s here”, and “he’s yours!”. Within 24 hours of first hearing about our son, we were holding him in our arms.

Worth it.

People will tell you that it will be worth the wait, and once you hold that sweet child the days of sorrow will fade and you’d do it a hundred times over again. To that I’d add, yours will be a story of a thousand threads; a story of sorrow, courage, hope, loss, love, pain, beauty, fear, joy and redemption. All sewn together it makes the most beautiful tapestry. Embrace the whole thing. It will become a part of you.