Hello –
We haven’t met yet but you’ll soon figure out that our family doesn’t necessarily look like your “typical” one or the families that you are used to having. And that’s ok. Really, it is. But as white parents with black children there are some things we do a little differently. Some words we don’t use. Some things we don’t do. Some things we celebrate. I’ve learned a lot over the years from transracial families who have come before us and I wanted to share that with you. Because as of now, you will get to spend more time each week with our children than us. You get to mold them. You affect the way they view themselves. The confidence they carry. The dreams they dream. The goals they chase. You have the honor of helping shape them.
Here are some things we’ve learned along the way and care deeply about:
We aren’t color blind. We see all the beautiful colors of skin. We appreciate them. We marvel at them. And when it comes time for crafts or for our children to draw pictures of themselves please provide them with appropriately colored paper and crayons. Peach isn’t the only skin color.
We don’t use the N word. Neither of them actually. Or the word thug.
We don’t touch hair. The kids may be curious and that’s great. Please use it as a lesson to teach them about the different types of hair. Curly. Straight. Wavy. Thick. Fine. Blonde. Brown. Black. Bald. But please, don’t touch their hair and don’t let their peers either. If someone asks, and they say no. No means no. If someone asks and they say yes, then that’s completely fine.
We celebrate Black History Month every month. We celebrate Martin and Rosa and Malcom and Harriet and Sojourner. But we celebrate others like Ruby, Serena, Michelle, Colin. We celebrate Maya and Nelson. We celebrate all of the wonderful achievements of black women like Mae Jemison and Bessie Coleman and Katherine Johnson and Shirley Chisholm. I would encourage you to introduce these people into your classroom and into history. They may not be in the history books but there’s plenty of books about them. If you want some recommendations, let me know.
There’s also more to black history than slavery. There are kings and queens. There are scientists and poets and actors and writers.
We talk about and remember people like Sandra Bland, Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, Alton Sterling, Laquan McDonald, Freddie Gray. We celebrate their lives. The impact their loss has on our children, our communities, and our world.
We teach our children to respect police officers but we also teach them how to act if they get pulled over or confronted by a police officer.
At Christmas time, we have black Santas and black angels and a black Nativity scene, because we believe representation matters and mirrors matter to our children. I would love to see diversity in their classroom, through the books that are read to the lessons that are taught.
We don’t wear watermelons. We don’t wear monkeys.
“Black face” is never appropriate. Not for a history lesson. Not for Halloween. Not ever.
I think that’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll think of more and when I do I will let you know. Please don’t take it personally or as an attack on you or your knowledge or your teaching skills. I didn’t always know these things either. One of my dear friends always says though, “now that you know, what are you going to about it?”. Whether this is the first black child you have had in your classroom or the 100th, wherever you are on your journey learning about race, we are here to partner with you.. I am here to answer questions. I am here to provide resources.
Sincerely,
Just a Mom Advocating for her Kids
On a side note, here are a couple things we have in our home and love that you might like for your classroom:
Multicultural Crayons
and Multicultural Markers
Construction Paper
Book: Little Leaders, Bold Woman in Black History
