Open adoption is two families becoming one. One family brought together because of the love and sacrifice of a birth mom; one family drawn together because of the birth of a beautiful child.
When situations were presented to us, I would always look for what kind of adoption plan the birth mom had in mind. It always made me so happy to see “Open Adoption”. To me, that meant she was open to seeing her child as they would grow, getting to know us (the adoptive family), and knowing we will love this child forever. Having her family’s support was also so important to us! Knowing that this child has a whole other family that loves him/her meant so much to me.
Open adoption looks different for every family. When researching adoption, I became aware that open adoption could be done well, and can be healthy for the child. It offers a boost to the child’s self-esteem knowing their birth parents and getting immediate answers and accurate information about their history. Being able to answer questions like “who do I look like?” and “why did she chose an adoption plan for me?” As the parent in an open adoption, I’m able to communicate facts, instead of half-truths or unknowns. At the same time, I am aware and flexible that as the years go by, the open adoption plan could look a little different as my daughter grows, and her birth parents’ lives change naturally.
Going through the adoption process was extremely difficult; I became fearful, and filled with anxiety. However, being able to become familiar with our birth mom months in advance helped ease the fear and anxiety that was taking over my life. Through our conversations, I came to find out that she was certain that she wanted an open adoption, which would include continuous communication and yearly visits. This was everything I had wanted and dreamed of for my family. She wanted to have the same type of relationship that I wanted. She wanted the type of open adoption that I had pictured all along.
Open adoption has helped me realized the love, sacrifice and bravery that a birth mother has. I truly love and respect my daughter’s’ birth mother. It is because of her love and sacrifice that I am able to have a beautiful daughter that I would not be able to have without her. She is one of the strongest people I know. I am thankful for her everyday, and I am thankful that she has chosen to continue to be a part of my daughter’s life through an open adoption.
