I don’t pretend to know what it was like to be you. To not have access to thousands of other women who know what it’s like. Who get it.
It must have been lonely. In an era in which you were shamed into keeping quiet. Into persevering without closure.
I wish the world would have been more gentle with you.
Kinder. Softer.
You did not deserve the treatment you endured.
But you see, my sister, the winds are shifting. People’s eyes are opening. To the beauty within the sorrow. To the peace that comes with reconciliation. We are forgiving ourselves and moving forward. Passions are being reignited and lives are being transformed.
All because we are starting to find each other. It’s such a simple concept. Find others like you and you will not feel so alone. Simple yet not at the same time.
It was life changing, the first time I sat at a table with women who were just like me. There was an ease in the air. It was palpable. We needed each other.
Our sisters are fighting the good fight not just for ourselves but for you and the ones who will go after us. For because of you, we are able to do this work. To reach deep down within ourselves and find healing.
I know there is nothing I can say to fully take away all the hurt, but I wish to say “thank you.” We could not have made the progress we’ve made without you. Thank you for standing up for yourself and for making your voices heard.
Thank you for putting words to feelings. Thank you for taking up space. I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for you. I would not have the guts to speak up. I wanted nothing more than to run far away from my past. What I learned, though, is that you can never run from it. And with that known, I was left with two options: sink or swim.
I don’t know about you but I’d rather swim.
Against the tide, against the currents, against the storms.
Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I wish it wasn’t such a prominent part of my life. But I also don’t know who I’d be without it.
Heartbreak and hardship do not control our well-being. They certainly influence it but again, we either sink or we swim.
I know there is a lot of progress yet to be made. But I am encouraged by the progress that has already been made. Slowly but surely, we are reigning victorious over the way things once were.
I wish none of us ever had to make that decision, but we live in an imperfect world. With imperfect people and an imperfect system. Therefore, I am not asking for perfection, I am asking for a shot at it. A shot at thriving. We all deserve a shot at it.
So thank you again. For paving the way for us to have a beautiful life full of grace and connection. We fight for you, for us. It is not in vain.
WRITTEN BY JESSIE MATTOS: Jessie is a birthmom from Orlando, Florida, who has a passion for people, really good chicken wings, and will be the first to tell you if you have something in your teeth (in the nicest way possible!). She’s married to her best friend, Gabe, and is a stay at home mom to Gabriel and Micah. She is a University of Florida alumna and has been known to cut a rug or two. Jessie is the type of friend who will never leave your side and when she’s not spending time with her family, she loves to explore her hometown and immerse herself in the flavors of the city. Although she’s been a birth mom for eight years, Jessie has recently found her voice and her “people” within the adoption community and hopes to use this platform to remind others
