What feelings do you get when the calendar turns over? Are you met with excitement and hope? Or are you doing everything you can to muster-up courage to look past the cracks of fear and anxiety looming. Our world continues to experience a collective hum of tribulation. It is a hard bid of reality imagining the repercussions in the years to come…
But the bigger question to ask is, how will we continue to make? Are we going to widen our minds’ landscape and use our creativity to bring forth good? I truly believe we have been and we will continue to do so.
One place, I have seen so much growth and dedication is within the adoption community. Though there are still differing sides, unethical practices and pillars of transracial adoption being used as political ploys. Change is happening.
People are hearing adoptee voices. The innovation, adoptee’s have had to further the narrative through podcasts, books, research, instagram posts, news articles and workshops is profound. At times it is enraging to see the toil of the adoption narrative brought forth at the expense of pain but the hope is in better education for mental health, racial mirrors, an informed general public on best practice around adoption culture and attachment among all family members in the adoptee’s personhood. I love seeing the shift in the landscape and my hope is we continue to push the narrative with monetary means along with informed action toward reform within the adoption business.
As the narrative continues to center around the realities of the adoptee’s experience, all signs point to a more holistic view of adoption. One that cherishes roots and genetics. Thus an easy place to start is highlighting the need to know and create connections toward the adoptee’s heritage. Using literature, toys or experiences to make room for the lifetime of emotions is a stepping stone toward good. Which leads to a greater emphasis on giving the adoptee,the power to point out their genetic make-up and calling forth beauty from those who share it.
In turn, creating a holistic family that requires biological relatives and a proper guideline for details and information in hopes to build a whole identity. This needed change in the adoptive narrative is also preserving the mental health and connection to the birth-family. Creating an expansive view of family and a clear picture of the commitment all parties have to the child by being open and loving. Not to mention, the possibility of shared memories and inclusivity.
The unwavering commitment adoptive parents have had this year to the combative conversations or the boundaries they have made with divisive connections to their family do not go unnoticed. The tenacity seen in parents this year to support adoptees, birth parents and family preservation is noted. The decentering reflections and hard work being done to connect children to mentors or the change in location are positive building blocks toward growth. Better education around the trauma and the mental health landscape adoptee’s are born with is sharpening the lens in which we can see and grow through. All of this being branded in the reality of this particular family structure.
So as I turn off the news and turn toward the work, I see so many places for continued advocacy and partnership closing my cracks of fear and anxiety for this sacred adoption community, is truly better together.
WRITTEN BY BRANDI EBERSOLE: Brandi is an transracial adoptee, adoptive mama, foster mama, you know just a mama… Brandi lives on the North Shore of Boston. She loves LOVE, people and strong coffee. She feels the weight of balancing many hats with her partner in crime, Daniel… The two of them own a business together and relish filling their days capturing love behind their lens. They also have three incredible kids, the first of whom came to them via adoption. She’s their passionate, bright, and lovely daughter. Her story has brought so much healing for Brandi, not to mention, two amazing birth-parents, making their “extended” family quite a bunch. Their second child, a son, is currently Brandi’s only-known blood relative and his joyful, and charming ways are making it easy for Brandi to love her Korean heritage. And their son, a full and mighty personality in a tiny brave body. Brandi is passionate about identity building, racial awareness and creating a better soil for adoptees to grow-up in. She always believes in honesty and openness. And truly believes through continued challenge and sharing of stories, we can the world change.
