I just returned from the Kindred + Co. Triad retreat, which if you didn’t know, was the first of its kind. It was a weekend retreat located in the desert of California for the purpose of bringing together women who represent all sides of the triad in hopes of creating unity among us as we continue to navigate our own stories and relationships within this community. Hannah and her retreat team took deep care and consideration as to how they wanted to create a space of sacredness for us to experience and it was tangible throughout our time together.
As I was preparing for this trip, I found myself with a pull in emotion. On one side, I was eager to sit at the table with such a diverse group of women, storytelling and connecting with one another in real life. On the flip side, my nerves were high with wondering how any of it would unfold. I also agreed to share my story and I haven’t done so in an intimate setting, specifically with others in the triad, so I knew this retreat would be a time of “firsts” and new experiences for me and for all of us.
Since returning home, I’ve been reflecting on my experience and one major take away is the power of both-and. For the first time in my life I was able to step into a threshold being fully myself. I was able to bring my adoptee-ness to a space where it was known and embraced, I haven’t experienced that feeling so freely before. It’s such a magical thing to invite others into a space where their entire self is welcomed. I believe that creating a welcoming and safe space is what allowed for all our differencesifferent to truly melt into the profound ways we are similar. We can be a birth mom AND a friend with an adoptee. We can be an adoptive mom AND a birth mom who can continue walking hand in hand together in motherhood learning from each other in this shared role. It’s truly life changing to revel in the strength of this community when our humanness and inherent worth are the foundation of how we build bridges towards each other.
I remember listening to the stories of women who bravely shared how adoption has impacted their life knowing I don’t deserve these words or these tears but knowing it’s an honor to be invited into its unfolding. Our stories should bring us into more compassion, empathy, and insight andallow us to move into relationships with one another in more grace filled capacity. At the end of our time together we did a group exercise called Visual Exploration where each attendee chose a photo that best represented what they are taking with themt from our time together. To hear the ways our time together deeply touched someone’s life is something I will never forget and serves as a reminder that we are truly better together. Hannah chose a photo of drop in a body of water, expressing how she hopes that what we’ve experienced together is just the beginning of the rippling of extension into the rest of the triad that will bring about a deeper sense of community and oneness.
I do believe that as each of stepped back through our own thresholds of home we brought with us a gentle sacredness to those spaces. The stories we will be sharing with those around the table will be a tangible extension of what this retreat held for all of us. May this retreat not only touch our lives, but may it also touch our triad community in waves that bring about more wholeness as we are lifted up by lifting others.
WRITTEN BY SHARDAY DUFRESNE
Sharday is a wife to one and mom to two residing along the southern coast of California. She is an early riser, daily coffee connoisseur, interior design enthusiast, and lover of all things fall. She is a transracial adoptee who is inviting that voice within to rise up storyteller and desires to champion and advocate for those in this triad community in hopes of adding more leaves and seats to our extended table to hear others stories rise up as well.
All photos by Cassie Anna
