The Oxford Dictionary lists the following definition for the word choose:
decide on a course of action, typically after rejecting alternatives
It also lists the following synonyms:
Wish, want, desire
I’ll never forget talking to Luca and Jona’s first mama on the phone. I’m not going to go into the whys or why nots of why she placed. That’s her story and their story and theirs to share down the road if they so choose. What I will tell you is that she expressed her wishes, her wants, and her desires for her girls.
The dreams she had for them.
The future she saw for them.
And as she looked through profile books, she kept those in the back of her head. Those wishes. Those wants. Those desires. She studied faces and family stories. She pictured holidays and dance recitals.
And then she chose.
She made a choice for her daughters. The hardest choice.
A choice for herself.
A choice for us.
Even if this initial choice was for a short period of time or eternity, at that moment, she invited us into her story.
She chose to send ultrasound pics to us. She chose to invite us to doctor appointments. She chose to send us belly pics and videos of dancing tummies. She chose middle names and helped us with first ones.
And in the end, whether she chose us for the second time, or decided to parent, we were going to be rooting for her.
She chose us to be part of her family. She chose us to walk alongside her whether that was as Luca and Jona’s Mommy and Papi or as her friend and biggest cheerleader.
For the rest of our lives, we will honor her choice.
Some days it’s hard and some days it’s easy.
We honor her with stories.
We honor her with pictures.
We honor her with necklaces worn and letters tucked away for another day.
None of it will ever come close. But we try and always will.
She chose us and every day we choose her.
She is their mom and always will be.
WRITTEN BY LAUREN RASMUSSEN
Lauren lives in Minneapolis/Saint Paul. Wife to John, stay at home mama to Luca and Jona. She is a lover of coffee (most always with cream) and Mexican food. A Northern girl through and through she loves spending time outside no matter the season. She has a deep passion for adoption and the community she found through her own adoption process. She hopes these stories will inspire and more than anything assure others they are not alone.
